Apr 24 2017

Professional Thoughts on DaddyOFive


DaddyOFive Mike and his wife, Heather, released a tear-filled video called “Family Destroyed Over False Aquisations” [sic] after doing an interview with Keemstar over at the DramaAlert Channel. The newest DaddyOFive video said the family has been destroyed by false accusations of abuse that they blame on Phil DeFranco’s coverage of their YouTube channel. They say they fear for themselves and their children because of what he said about their prank videos and blogs – which all of a sudden are now fake and all their children’s ideas. Videos that show the parents hitting their children, the children hitting each other, everyone yelling and screaming and swearing at each other, videos where the family is getting ready to go to Disney but tell the youngest boy he can’t go because of bad behavior, behavior that in my professional opinion, as a LICENSED THERAPIST, I have seen in children that have unstable homes lives have suffered from trauma. I myself first became aware of this story from Philip DeFranco, and he was careful not to flat out label it as abuse, and instead said that was a job for child protective services.

The family countered by saying child services had already gotten involved a while back – which should be a red flag for them to even start with – but that child services didn’t find anything and closed the case. Even if this is true, that doesn’t mean much. Child services is notorious for doing a shitty job. I’ve literally been in homes where I had to step over heroin needles on the floor with parents passed out in bed where I was legally required to call child services, and child services didn’t do shit. Just because they say the claims aren’t supported, doesn’t mean it’s true. ”

And just because these prank videos are “fake,” as the family is now claiming, doesn’t mean you get to push your kid face first into a bookshelf, or put videos of them punching themselves in the face out of anger and frustration on the internet. Just because the kids say they love YouTube doesn’t mean they love getting hit and yelled at. They might love the attention and all the cool stuff they get from YouTube money, but in the family’s haters gonna hate video, the kids FLAT OUT SAY that they believe all parents beat their children. Kids don’t just make up stuff like that – just like adults, their views come from their experiences and what their families teach them.

And now maybe DaddyOFive doesn’t think what he’s doing can be classified as abuse, or detrimental to his children. Maybe he was raised the same way and says, “Well I turned out just fine!” But he didn’t, if he thinks this is okay. And furthermore, study after study has come out saying that children that are “disciplined” in this way, with the yelling and the swearing and the hitting and humiliation – are at exponentially higher risk for anger issues, depression, violence and criminal behavior in adulthood, anxiety, and troubled relationships – REGARDLESS of whether or not the parents classify their behavior as “abuse.”

Now in the recent video, the parents admit they’re a blended family and that Cody, the little guy that gets picked on and shoved around the most, used to be so much worse off and wanted to grow up and be a beggar. Cool. Maybe that’s the case and he’s doing better now than he did when he lived with his bio mom. That’s not an excuse. And to top it off, bio mom claims that Heather and Mike took the kids Cody and Emma by use of forged documents, AND that Mike has already had abuse allegations against him, so who knows what the deal is with that.

Heather and Mike also say, “Oh, well, we didn’t want to take Cody to Disney because he wanders and might get lost and kidnapped.” Fine, but does Cody understand that? When he demands the camera be shut off and it isn’t, does he understand why? Does he understand this is “love and entertainment?”

During the Keemstar interview, they said the videos were real but were exaggerated with editing, which is very different from what was in Wednesday’s video. They say the kids are acting, even though They say that whenever the kids feel a prank crossed their boundaries and ask for it not be posted, that parents Michael and Heather oblige and don’t post it.

To get at the issue here, I feel like I need to do a quick breakdown of child development and formation of relationships. In the simplest terms, a lot of things in life come down to attachment – namely, what children have learned about relationships and the world through their early relationships with their parents. Happy, healthy, stable little kiddos develop “secure” attachments – meaning, they feel and understand that their parents are safe, loving, and supportive people that will be able to meet their needs and provide unconditional love. This is VERY important and will color a person’s view of the world and relationships for the REST OF THEIR LIFE. If you are consistently violating your child’s boundaries and embarrassing them, or hurting them, or making them ashamed, or only providing conditional affection, they are NOT going to develop that secure attachment.

In the interview, Heather says that some of Cody’s reactions are “100% real.” And they don’t see that as problematic. They do say that Cody is in therapy, and the honest truth, fake videos or not, if a client showed me they were making those videos, I would 100% be legally obligated to call child protective services. The family says, “well we do fun things too.” Great. Something doesn’t need to happen on an hourly, or daily basis, to be doing damage. Except the family uploads videos on a daily basis and they’re all pretty bad.

Newsflash, folks, YOU made the videos and put them on the internet. You can’t plaster your family all over YouTube, posting videos of you hitting each other, and then say you don’t want people on the internet involved in your private lives. That’s not how it works! Michael and Heather also say that behind the scenes, the kids still laugh and are regular kids – kids that are in bad situations still have the ability to laugh. These videos are not Philip DeFranco’s responsibility. This situation isn’t “his fault” – its yours.

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