Aug 27 2014

EPA Employee Poop Scandal Worsens: DHS Involved, Workers “Terrified”


Back in June, I wrote an article about the EPA’s difficulty in determining appropriate potty behavior. All hell broke lose as employees left feces in hallways and clogged toilets with paper towels. Memos were sent out, reminding people to please mind social bathroom norms while at work and defecate only in the assigned places – namely, restrooms. Either the employees were rebelling in some act of civil disobedience (though I’m not sure if that would really fall under the category of “civil”) or they were enacting a grand social experiment. I mean, no one could be that gross without a grand cause, right?

Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor stressed the seriousness of the issue and consulted a “national expert” on workplace violence, who deemed the behaviors as violent, dangerous, and likely to escalate.

And escalate they did. So bad, in fact, that the Department of Homeland Security is now involved.

The EPA’s Region 8 office has now heightened security to help ease the minds of frightened employees. The Denver, Colorado office has now been victim to nearly a dozen fecal incidents. Management encouraged employees to come to them with any information about the incidents, and in doing so, flushed out some interesting new problems. Another email from Cantor provides a shining example:

A male supervisor in ECEJ (she would not tell me who) told her that management knows that it is a female on the (redacted)floor who has been wiping feces and menstrual blood on the walls (I’m really sorry, this is beyond gross) and that they are worried that her behavior is escalating.

Both male and female restrooms have landed on the foul side of these incidents, with reports of urine on the floor and trails of fecal matter leading from the stalls to the hallways. Incidents are also not isolated to a certain floor. Incident reports in one chain of emails lists the 3rd, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th floors all as recipients of improperly disposed urine, feces, and clogged toilets.

Employees and management alike are wondering if this is simply a disgruntled employee or an underlying mental health issue. Among bad bathroom behavior, employees have had their house keys stolen, brought ammunition to work, and have been found defecating outside the building as well.

Once the original story hit the news, workers from other EPA departments and offices offered their support, telling Region 8’s management that they, too, had seen similar behavior in other agencies. This means that not only is this an EPA problem, this is a widespread issue among government employees. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your tax dollars at work.

For now, the issue is still unresolved. DHS, which holds the security contract for the building, has increased patrols of the building. DHS has also assigned a special investigator to look into the incidents. The EPA states that the incidents stopped soon after the memo was released, but that claim does not match up with later reports. The EPA poop vandal is still at large.


  1. Jorhe

    Just goes to show what type of person goes to work at the EPA.

  2. emdfl

    Those .gov fools(BIRM) have apparently never heard of VIDEO CAMERAS. Or else they are more afraid of finding out that they’re probably dealing with a member of the aa vibrant diversity then they are of spereading disease. In either event this story has got to be the funny of the year.

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