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Jun 25 2014

EPA Email Asks Employees to Stop Pooping in the Hallway

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Apparently, employees of the Environmental Protection Agency have had a little trouble determining what is and is not appropriate behavior in the workplace. In an email obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” occurring in the Denver, Colorado office, including “an individual placing feces in the hallway.” Other notable events were an epidemic of toilets clogged with paper towels and similar bathroom “incidents.”

“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals,” Cantor wrote. He further asked any employee with knowledge of the hallway-pooping individual to contact management immediately.

Baffled by their employees’ behavior, the EPA consulted John Nicoletti, a “national expert” on workplace violence. Nicoletti warned that the behavior is “very dangerous” and will most likely escalate. He determined that feces in the hallway poses both a health and safety risk. Besides being completely disgusting, it appears that defecation anywhere other than a restroom is also quite serious.

Despite stating that the agency could not comment on ongoing personnel matters, EPA spokesman Richard Mylott releaseed a statement that Nicoletti’s expertise was sought in an effort to improve workplace safety: “EPA’s actions in response to recent workplace issues have been deliberate and have focused on ensuring a safe work environment for our employees. Our brief consultation with Dr. Nicoletti on this matter, a resource who regularly provides our office with training and expertise on workplace issues, reflects our commitment to securing a safe workplace.”

This is certainly not the first time that EPA staff have engaged in misconduct. In May, one employee was investigated for spending the majority of his time downloading over 7,000 files of pornography. He allegedly spent 2-6 hours watching these files per day. Another employee pretended to be a CIA agent in order to receive extra paid vacations.

As of March, the EPA was the subject of 78 open investigations.

1 ping

  1. EPA Employee Poop Scandal Worsens: DHS Involved, Workers "Terrified"

    […] in June, I wrote an article about the EPA’s difficulty in determining appropriate potty behavior. All hell broke lose as employees left feces in hallways and clogged toilets with paper towels. […]

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